Brigitta Burgess is a writer and new mom. Read more from her on her blog!
Dear Friend Without Kids,
I still like you. I know we havent talked in a long time, but please know that I think youre really great and wish we could spend more time together.
Like I said, I still like you. The only reason I havent called in three weeks is that my son is going through a horrible sleep phase and I am running on four hours a night most of the time.
I fell asleep upright while watching the finale of Mad Men. Its getting serious.
Im your number one fan. I just cant meet up with you at a restaurant on an hours notice anymore because, heres the thing: it takes me an hour to convince my daughter to put her shoes on.
I still really like you. I just dont like going out as much as I used to.
Youre so great. Its just that babysitters are expensive, so I dont want to pay through the nose just so I can be your wingman at a bar on a weeknight. I mean, unless you paid for drinks.
Wait, never mind. I cant even drink a lot because Im breastfeeding.
I still like you so much. It just takes me more than 2 minutes to respond to your texts. Or anyones texts, for that matter.
Texts are more like e-mails to me now.
You are such a great friend. I just dont think you care enough about how cute my son looks when he sneezes. I showed you that photo of his wrinkled nose like eight times and you hardly even smiled. Whats that about?
I like everything about you. I just cant hang out past 6pm.
Like I said, I still like you. And I really want to stay friends, so if you could just please pretend to get excited about going to the zoo with us, that would be great.
Love Always,
Your Parent Friend.
It is clear to me now, two kids and two different experiences later: our babies are born ready. All they need is for us to be ready to listen, and respond.
I had no idea how infuriating the question “how can I help?” would be when there was a sink full of bottles and an empty fridge. Mom friends to the rescue.
Beyond knowing how to handle a tantrum to avoid public embarrassment, we can begin to view them as a valuable opportunity to teach our children life skills.
ParentCo.
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